I am up to my ears in screaming baby. He won't sleep in his crib past 2 am and I can't go to bed until about 11:30 pm. So that equals about 2 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Then we bed-share. So K gets space priority, then R takes up the rest of the space. Usually I end up with my head about halfway down the bed. Not comfortable. So at 2am, K sucks down about 5 oz. He wakes up every hour between 2-5 or 6 just to fuss. He starts fussing, I groan, get up, and start walking to the living room to finish out my night on the couch. Half-way to the couch? He falls back to sleep. I make my way back to bed. He starts fussing, rolls onto his belly, and takes up even more space. I hate sleeping because I am not getting actual rest. I miss dreaming, feeling renewed, and actually not falling asleep while playing with K. Most of all? I miss my bed.
You may ask why it seems like R doesn't help. Well R works at least 12 hours a day on his feet. That is completely exhausting, I used to do it. So I do all night wakings unless K wakes before R goes to bed. My reasoning behind this is I can nap through-out the day if I need it. On R's days off, he sleeps in, but then he lets me nap. Its been working for us and that's all that matters. The past couple of days have been hard though!
Yesterday was K's 4-month well baby check-up. He is 13 lb 15.28 oz. So safe to say, 14 lbs! Yay! He is 25 in long. He got shots and has been a screaming mess since the shots.
We also have to go to the pediatric dermatologist. K has really bad eczema and has a wart on his arm. Its incredibly unusual for a baby this young. They think its Molluscum. I'll keep everyone updated!
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Why is he so happy in the mornings? (And other things)
My mornings are pretty good. I mean after I realize K wants to wake up and not go back to sleep. He ALWAYS wants to wake up earlier than I do. So after I realize he is up and NOT going back to sleep, he smiles, A LOT. He is the most smiley, happy baby in the mornings. We play peek-a-boo with his diaper. What, you ask? K likes when I start to change his diaper, lift up the front, close it quickly and go "AHHH." He full-on giggles. It is so precious.
He also loves being with his daddy:
So the above was started on Saturday, but K had other plans and now I think he is getting sick. He has eye gunk, won't stay asleep, and a little bit of snot running out of his nose on the cleft side. The snot might be a mixture of snot and drool. Who knows?
We had a rough night last night. Like one of those nights where you wake every hour because the baby is crying. That was even with him in our bed. Ugh.
On to things not baby related:
-I rolled my ankle before I started the 30DS. It felt fine so I didn't think a thing about it. Until I did a couple days of the shred. My ankle still kills and I haven't been able to do it since. I am really tired of looking like the spare tire is permanent. Here is before and after: (note, before is what I used to look like and after? its what I want to get rid of.)
-My house is a disaster area. We got the rest of our stuff from moving. Now I don't know where to put anything.
-I love Dane Cook. I found some of the CDs of his I had during the move.
-So when K was about a month old, I got the mom haircut:
I have decided that the mom cut is not for me. I want to go back to this:
Ok it might take more effort, but I think it will look better.
I think that's all for now. This post was all over the place.
He also loves being with his daddy:
So the above was started on Saturday, but K had other plans and now I think he is getting sick. He has eye gunk, won't stay asleep, and a little bit of snot running out of his nose on the cleft side. The snot might be a mixture of snot and drool. Who knows?
We had a rough night last night. Like one of those nights where you wake every hour because the baby is crying. That was even with him in our bed. Ugh.
On to things not baby related:
-I rolled my ankle before I started the 30DS. It felt fine so I didn't think a thing about it. Until I did a couple days of the shred. My ankle still kills and I haven't been able to do it since. I am really tired of looking like the spare tire is permanent. Here is before and after: (note, before is what I used to look like and after? its what I want to get rid of.)
-My house is a disaster area. We got the rest of our stuff from moving. Now I don't know where to put anything.
-I love Dane Cook. I found some of the CDs of his I had during the move.
-So when K was about a month old, I got the mom haircut:
I have decided that the mom cut is not for me. I want to go back to this:
Ok it might take more effort, but I think it will look better.
I think that's all for now. This post was all over the place.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
I've been a horrible blogger.
I am so sorry guys. I have been a horrble blogger, but this past week has been L-O-N-G! Let's see:
-K has decided that sleep is for the weak, for the weak I tell you. Momma on the other hand? I am dying from the lack of a great night's sleep. K has decided 2 am is a wonderful time to want to wake up and eat. Fine, he eats in less than 15 minutes and falls back to sleep. The catch? He absolutely will NOT let me lay him back in the crib or he wakes up. A lot of the time, we end up on the couch and I sleep holding him. Couch sleeping? Not comfortable, AT ALL. So I made an executive decision a couple of nights ago. For me to sleep better and my whole body not to scream in stiffness, K would sleep with us when he woke up. One problem: the fact he is a 13 lb 3 oz, 24 1/2 in long MAJOR bed-hog. He decided to sleep on his belly, which now he loves to do, and took about at least 1/3 of the bed, while R took up at least 1/2 of the bed. This left me with an approximate 1/6 of bed. For you people who don't do math? That means I could either smoosh my baby or smoosh my fiance. I chose the fiance. He could handle it. So, in short, sleep has been difficult. Last night was better though.
-I am really trying to be a good stay-at-hoime mom. I am trying to keep things clean, do huge amounts of laundry, and keep the little man entertained. I still need to work on my time management. I have started TRYING to make dinner every night. SO nights it doesn't happen, so we eat left-overs. Other nights, I actually manage to cook. Last night? I made spaghetti. It was really good and I was proud.
-Laundry is the bane of my existence. I really don't mind eashing it and putting it in the dryer. I hate putting it away. I try really hard to put it away when it comes out of the dryer, but usually it ends up on the guest bed until we run out of underwear, under shirts, socks, PJ pants, etc.
There is a ton more going up, but my eyes are heavy. K is playing and I might be able to catch a couple Z's. I promise, I will get better at this blogging stuff.
-K has decided that sleep is for the weak, for the weak I tell you. Momma on the other hand? I am dying from the lack of a great night's sleep. K has decided 2 am is a wonderful time to want to wake up and eat. Fine, he eats in less than 15 minutes and falls back to sleep. The catch? He absolutely will NOT let me lay him back in the crib or he wakes up. A lot of the time, we end up on the couch and I sleep holding him. Couch sleeping? Not comfortable, AT ALL. So I made an executive decision a couple of nights ago. For me to sleep better and my whole body not to scream in stiffness, K would sleep with us when he woke up. One problem: the fact he is a 13 lb 3 oz, 24 1/2 in long MAJOR bed-hog. He decided to sleep on his belly, which now he loves to do, and took about at least 1/3 of the bed, while R took up at least 1/2 of the bed. This left me with an approximate 1/6 of bed. For you people who don't do math? That means I could either smoosh my baby or smoosh my fiance. I chose the fiance. He could handle it. So, in short, sleep has been difficult. Last night was better though.
-I am really trying to be a good stay-at-hoime mom. I am trying to keep things clean, do huge amounts of laundry, and keep the little man entertained. I still need to work on my time management. I have started TRYING to make dinner every night. SO nights it doesn't happen, so we eat left-overs. Other nights, I actually manage to cook. Last night? I made spaghetti. It was really good and I was proud.
-Laundry is the bane of my existence. I really don't mind eashing it and putting it in the dryer. I hate putting it away. I try really hard to put it away when it comes out of the dryer, but usually it ends up on the guest bed until we run out of underwear, under shirts, socks, PJ pants, etc.
There is a ton more going up, but my eyes are heavy. K is playing and I might be able to catch a couple Z's. I promise, I will get better at this blogging stuff.
Friday, January 8, 2010
Ok, so I *might* have lied.. :)
You know my baby product review? You know how I said I would get back to it? Well I lost my steam with it and now don't want to finish it. Truthfully though? Those are the top things I love anyway. Yeah, that's about it. I am kind of boring today. So you wanna see pictures of sweet little man? Ok!
Jillian Michaels hates me, a lot.
I am very tired of looking like I have an extra dounut tire around my waist. My self esteem has dropped to critical levels. I have never been self-praising, but I always felt comfortable and attractive. Now? Not so much. I don't kow how much I weigh, but I know I probably need to lose about 30 lbs and tone up the abs the K completely wrecked streched out. So I decided to do something about it. Now, I am the first to admit I NEVER exercise. I have never really been "in shape." So last night I decided to start the 30 Day Shred (30DS) last night. My plan is do it everyday. But last night kicked my ass bottom.I used 5 lb weights when I should have used 3 lbs. I thought "hey, I am doing level 1, I am starting easy." The 30DS is not easy even when you start easy. It hurts to pick up K this morning. My arms are so sore. But I think I am going to go with the 3 lb weights for a week, and then switch to the 5 lbers. I don't know, but I am getting excited. I am really tired of being about 3 sizes bigger than I am used to. Now, if I can make it through the workout without stoppping for more than one 5 second break.
Wish me luck. I am going to need it.
Wish me luck. I am going to need it.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Before I finish my baby product post, this is why surgery is a big deal.
*WARNING**WARNING**WARNING*
These pictures are from K's surgery. It might be hard to look at them, I know I still have a terrible time looking at them. This is why I get so angry when people say "they can fix it, right?" This is when he was waking up after surgery.
These pictures are from K's surgery. It might be hard to look at them, I know I still have a terrible time looking at them. This is why I get so angry when people say "they can fix it, right?" This is when he was waking up after surgery.
Moby Wraps, Boppy's, and baby products, oh my!
As I promised yesterday, I am going to give a review of some baby products I love! And maaybe some I don't like so much.
Let's start with the things I LO-OVE!These are in no particular order.
1)By far the best baby product: The Moby Wrap
I can do so many things hands free and it really can help to calm a fussy baby. K really likes his:
Don't worry, I only kept his bottle there for the picture
2) The Boppy "breastfeeding" pillow I didn't breastfeed because of K's cleft, but it has plenty of of other uses. I sometimes use it for a pillow on the couch during those early morning feedings, K uses it to help him sit-up, and sometimes he naps in it next to me on the couch.
3)The Bumbo! K always likes to be sitting in an upright position. He is really trying to sit on his own. What's a better way to help build the strength in his core muscles? The only thing is you can't use this until your baby can hold his/her own head up unaided.
4) Pampers Swaddlers Before K was born I was sure I would be using Huggies Pure and Naturals, but after a very big fight with a TERRIBLE diaper rash, we switched to Pampers Swaddlers. After he outgrows the Swaddlers, I think we will be going to Pampers Cruisers.
5)Our Skip, Hop Outer Space playmat K loves his so much. He will play and play and play when he is on it. Usually I can get him to play by himself for about 30-45 minutes.
6) Fisher Price Rainforest Travel swing and bouncer
Ok I will have to cut this short because K is screaming bloody murder for no reason. To be continued...
Let's start with the things I LO-OVE!These are in no particular order.
1)By far the best baby product: The Moby Wrap
I can do so many things hands free and it really can help to calm a fussy baby. K really likes his:
2) The Boppy "breastfeeding" pillow I didn't breastfeed because of K's cleft, but it has plenty of of other uses. I sometimes use it for a pillow on the couch during those early morning feedings, K uses it to help him sit-up, and sometimes he naps in it next to me on the couch.
3)The Bumbo! K always likes to be sitting in an upright position. He is really trying to sit on his own. What's a better way to help build the strength in his core muscles? The only thing is you can't use this until your baby can hold his/her own head up unaided.
4) Pampers Swaddlers Before K was born I was sure I would be using Huggies Pure and Naturals, but after a very big fight with a TERRIBLE diaper rash, we switched to Pampers Swaddlers. After he outgrows the Swaddlers, I think we will be going to Pampers Cruisers.
5)Our Skip, Hop Outer Space playmat K loves his so much. He will play and play and play when he is on it. Usually I can get him to play by himself for about 30-45 minutes.
6) Fisher Price Rainforest Travel swing and bouncer
Ok I will have to cut this short because K is screaming bloody murder for no reason. To be continued...
Monday, January 4, 2010
I am so irritated.
Ugh, for some reason picnik.com is down. I was adding pictures to the blog, but I like to watermark and edit them with picnik. Stupid site won't let me do anything and I have already tried every tip and trick they have listed on their site. So I sent them an email. Let's hope they get back to me soon. I am trying to add pictures of K to my osts. Ugh. And then, maybe tomorrow, I will tell you the things I can't live without(for K, obviously). :) Keep checking back for more pictures!
My son has a cleft lip and palate and I am ok with that.
That statement above took me a couple of months to reach. I will not lie. I was heartbroken, devastated, guilty, and shallow.
1&2)Heartbroken and devastated- You never, ever want your child to have any hardships. When you dream of your child, you see "perfection." You see what could be. You see your angel. I could only see a "defect." I couldn't believe that MY child was going to have a "defect." I had to grieve. I had to realize that my child wasn't "perfect," but that he was perfect. What's the difference between "perfect" and perfect? "Perfect" is the Hollywood, sensationalized version of someone. Perfect is the way God made someone. When I was explaining his "defect" to someone, I called him "K-perfect." He was still my wonderful, beautiful baby boy. He was just different than how I pictured him.
3)Guilty- I felt a lot of guilt when K was diagnosed. I felt like it was my fault. I mean, I WAS the one that was incubating him. He was growing in MY tummy. Was it my fault? The reasons for a cleft are truly unknown. Some possible reasons I was told were an folic acid deficiency in the mother (that would be me and the crazy amount of throwing up I did my entire pregnancy) and some genetic factor (again, that would be me because we found out I would have had an uncle with CL/P). It wasn't until the pre-natal consult with K's cleft team did the surgeon tell me that it could have been caused from him sticking his hands in his mouth. That reason made more sense because every. single. time. we had an ultrasound he had his hands in his face.
4)Shallow- I think that one is self-explanatory. K was going to look different than everyone else and possibly talk different than everyone else. If I may tell the truth, I was afraid of the first time I would meet K. How would I react? Would I be disgusted? afraid? Would I cry not out of happiness, but out sadness? What would other people say? I had heard too many stories of people's reactions to children with clefts. All that went out of the window when he was born though. He was absolutely beautiful. I know I am biased, but everyone thought he was beautiful.
When I started telling everyone about K's cleft, it was for my own therapy. It helped me heal to tell people. But man, let me tell you I was sure tired of hearing people tell me it can be "fixed." My child is not a car, he can't be "fixed." Oh he'll just have to have surgery. Yes, my tiny baby was going to have to have MAJOR surgery and be put under anesthesia. That's a big deal.
I got over it though, but how could you not with this cute face?
Not only would we have to deal with surgery though. It doesn't just end with surgery though and its not just one surgery. K will probably have at least 4 surgeries over the course of his childhood and adolescence. We will have braces and speech therapy too. While there are several things that could have gone wrong or could have been worse, it doesn't minimize what K will go through. It was very frustrating to hear people minimize K's situation.
I get on my soapbox when I talk about CL/P, but here is a website with some more information: Cleftline
1&2)Heartbroken and devastated- You never, ever want your child to have any hardships. When you dream of your child, you see "perfection." You see what could be. You see your angel. I could only see a "defect." I couldn't believe that MY child was going to have a "defect." I had to grieve. I had to realize that my child wasn't "perfect," but that he was perfect. What's the difference between "perfect" and perfect? "Perfect" is the Hollywood, sensationalized version of someone. Perfect is the way God made someone. When I was explaining his "defect" to someone, I called him "K-perfect." He was still my wonderful, beautiful baby boy. He was just different than how I pictured him.
3)Guilty- I felt a lot of guilt when K was diagnosed. I felt like it was my fault. I mean, I WAS the one that was incubating him. He was growing in MY tummy. Was it my fault? The reasons for a cleft are truly unknown. Some possible reasons I was told were an folic acid deficiency in the mother (that would be me and the crazy amount of throwing up I did my entire pregnancy) and some genetic factor (again, that would be me because we found out I would have had an uncle with CL/P). It wasn't until the pre-natal consult with K's cleft team did the surgeon tell me that it could have been caused from him sticking his hands in his mouth. That reason made more sense because every. single. time. we had an ultrasound he had his hands in his face.
4)Shallow- I think that one is self-explanatory. K was going to look different than everyone else and possibly talk different than everyone else. If I may tell the truth, I was afraid of the first time I would meet K. How would I react? Would I be disgusted? afraid? Would I cry not out of happiness, but out sadness? What would other people say? I had heard too many stories of people's reactions to children with clefts. All that went out of the window when he was born though. He was absolutely beautiful. I know I am biased, but everyone thought he was beautiful.
When I started telling everyone about K's cleft, it was for my own therapy. It helped me heal to tell people. But man, let me tell you I was sure tired of hearing people tell me it can be "fixed." My child is not a car, he can't be "fixed." Oh he'll just have to have surgery. Yes, my tiny baby was going to have to have MAJOR surgery and be put under anesthesia. That's a big deal.
I got over it though, but how could you not with this cute face?
Not only would we have to deal with surgery though. It doesn't just end with surgery though and its not just one surgery. K will probably have at least 4 surgeries over the course of his childhood and adolescence. We will have braces and speech therapy too. While there are several things that could have gone wrong or could have been worse, it doesn't minimize what K will go through. It was very frustrating to hear people minimize K's situation.
I get on my soapbox when I talk about CL/P, but here is a website with some more information: Cleftline
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Just an ordinary day.
Today has been pretty darn ordinary. Well, I take that back. K slept until 6:50 am and that rarely happens. Oh and its been snowing today.
Let's take a trip down memory lane...
K's first couple of weeks were pretty easy. Well as easy as they can be with a newborn. You know, the usual, exhaustion; the rareness of showers; panic over everything; and the worry if he was eating enough. You see, K was born at 7lbs. 2 oz. and our first visit to the pedi was the Monday after he was born. So he was 3 days old. He weighed in at the pedi's office at a mere 6 lbs. 2 oz. He lost a whole pound! Now if I lose a pound there is much rejoicing (Yeah... Name that movie), but for K to lose a pound? That is a lot. In fact it was about 14% of his body weight. The poor kid was skin and bones. Looking back at those pictures breaks my heart. He was so skinny. Babies aren't supposed to be skinny!
At birth/Days after birth
Soon K began gaining weight more quickly and even now, 4 months later, he still is on the low end of the spectrum for his length. I fight for every ounce because he has to gain and be healthy for his surgeries. But that is another post for another day. K's cleft lip/palate have so much emotion and information that today as the snow falls and he sits in his swing, I just don't want to think about the struggles that lie ahead for him. Maybe tomorrow morning when he drifts off to sleep in my arms I will type out that super long post. We will see, but for now have a wonderful day. I know I will enjoy the rest of it.
Oh and the answer to the movie? Monty Python and the Holy Grail, my favorite!
Let's take a trip down memory lane...
K's first couple of weeks were pretty easy. Well as easy as they can be with a newborn. You know, the usual, exhaustion; the rareness of showers; panic over everything; and the worry if he was eating enough. You see, K was born at 7lbs. 2 oz. and our first visit to the pedi was the Monday after he was born. So he was 3 days old. He weighed in at the pedi's office at a mere 6 lbs. 2 oz. He lost a whole pound! Now if I lose a pound there is much rejoicing (Yeah... Name that movie), but for K to lose a pound? That is a lot. In fact it was about 14% of his body weight. The poor kid was skin and bones. Looking back at those pictures breaks my heart. He was so skinny. Babies aren't supposed to be skinny!
Soon K began gaining weight more quickly and even now, 4 months later, he still is on the low end of the spectrum for his length. I fight for every ounce because he has to gain and be healthy for his surgeries. But that is another post for another day. K's cleft lip/palate have so much emotion and information that today as the snow falls and he sits in his swing, I just don't want to think about the struggles that lie ahead for him. Maybe tomorrow morning when he drifts off to sleep in my arms I will type out that super long post. We will see, but for now have a wonderful day. I know I will enjoy the rest of it.
Oh and the answer to the movie? Monty Python and the Holy Grail, my favorite!
Saturday, January 2, 2010
I know, I know. Another one already?
I feel like the more quickly I can get through the back story, the sooner I can write about what is going on right now. Like K is asleep in the swing because of the noise of the hairdryer. Its a saving grace. I highly recommend it for fussy babies who won't go to sleep.
But for the real reason I think you might be here: K's birth story.
Friday, August 28th, I was getting up and about to go to work. I took a shower, checked my email, and went to the closet to get some pants. It was about 8:45. I felt a trickle and then it stopped. I thought "oh great, I am now peeing my pants even if I am not throwing up or sneezing. I checked my pants, just in case. It was yellow though, so I figured I wet my pants. I had it happen again so I called the triage nurse and she told me to come in to be checked. I got R up and starting getting excited, but I was still thinking I was peeing my pants. All the way to the hospital, I kept saying that I didn't think it was it and then I would turn around and say this has to be it! By the time we got to the hospital, I was leaking pretty badly and had soaked my pants.
We get up to L&D triage and I am smiling and happy. I am having contractions 2-3 minutes apart, but they aren't painful. I hadn't had a single painful contraction and I had been having contractions 2-3 min apart since 33 weeks. I go to the bathroom for a urine sample and I have green and yellow in my fluid ( sorry if TMI). I knew then I had meconium in my fluid and it scared me. They came to check me and I was 4-5 cm, 100%, and gushing fluid! They were definitely going to keep me.
I got set-up in my labor room about 11:00 and I was still having contractions 2-3 min apart. I still had no pain. I labored like that for awhile and got my antibiotics for GBS. I was having a great time watching TV and knowing my little man would be here soon. They started pitocin because my contractions were tapering off a little bit. That is when the horrible pain started. My body went from no pain to extreme pain. It was all back labor and my plan was to go all natural. I labored naturally for awhile and my contractions were one on top of another. There was no break and they kept upping my pit dosage. The on-call OB came in because I was in so much pain. She was a total jerk. She told me I needed to get the epi because if I didn't she would have to give me shots to stitch me up because she just knew I would tear.
At that point I had already decided to get the epi before she came in because my contractions were one continuous contraction. I actually yelled at her because she wanted my answer during the middle of my contraction and she wouldn't let me use my coping strategies. They came in to do the epi and my contractions were killer. I went from 7.5 cm to 9 cm during my epi and the back labor kept up even after the epi. When I was finally 10 cm and ready to push I couldn't feel anything and had to be told when to push. I pushed for 5 contractions and K came shooting into the world and started crying. I was so thankful he was crying because he had the meconium and he had a cleft lip and palate. The first time I held him was amazing and the moment was made even better when R asked me to marry him on the delivery table. He wanted to make our family complete.
K is the most beautiful boy in the world!! He did have to spend that first night in the NICU because of the meconium and the cleft. He got to room-in with us on our second night!! He started feeding like a champ and the pedi was amazed at how well he was doing!
I wrote this a week after K was born. It was all so fresh. I would do it again in a heartbeat. When K was born was the most amazing moment. I hated being pregnant, but loved giving birth. I know, I know CRAZY!
But for the real reason I think you might be here: K's birth story.
Friday, August 28th, I was getting up and about to go to work. I took a shower, checked my email, and went to the closet to get some pants. It was about 8:45. I felt a trickle and then it stopped. I thought "oh great, I am now peeing my pants even if I am not throwing up or sneezing. I checked my pants, just in case. It was yellow though, so I figured I wet my pants. I had it happen again so I called the triage nurse and she told me to come in to be checked. I got R up and starting getting excited, but I was still thinking I was peeing my pants. All the way to the hospital, I kept saying that I didn't think it was it and then I would turn around and say this has to be it! By the time we got to the hospital, I was leaking pretty badly and had soaked my pants.
We get up to L&D triage and I am smiling and happy. I am having contractions 2-3 minutes apart, but they aren't painful. I hadn't had a single painful contraction and I had been having contractions 2-3 min apart since 33 weeks. I go to the bathroom for a urine sample and I have green and yellow in my fluid ( sorry if TMI). I knew then I had meconium in my fluid and it scared me. They came to check me and I was 4-5 cm, 100%, and gushing fluid! They were definitely going to keep me.
I got set-up in my labor room about 11:00 and I was still having contractions 2-3 min apart. I still had no pain. I labored like that for awhile and got my antibiotics for GBS. I was having a great time watching TV and knowing my little man would be here soon. They started pitocin because my contractions were tapering off a little bit. That is when the horrible pain started. My body went from no pain to extreme pain. It was all back labor and my plan was to go all natural. I labored naturally for awhile and my contractions were one on top of another. There was no break and they kept upping my pit dosage. The on-call OB came in because I was in so much pain. She was a total jerk. She told me I needed to get the epi because if I didn't she would have to give me shots to stitch me up because she just knew I would tear.
At that point I had already decided to get the epi before she came in because my contractions were one continuous contraction. I actually yelled at her because she wanted my answer during the middle of my contraction and she wouldn't let me use my coping strategies. They came in to do the epi and my contractions were killer. I went from 7.5 cm to 9 cm during my epi and the back labor kept up even after the epi. When I was finally 10 cm and ready to push I couldn't feel anything and had to be told when to push. I pushed for 5 contractions and K came shooting into the world and started crying. I was so thankful he was crying because he had the meconium and he had a cleft lip and palate. The first time I held him was amazing and the moment was made even better when R asked me to marry him on the delivery table. He wanted to make our family complete.
K is the most beautiful boy in the world!! He did have to spend that first night in the NICU because of the meconium and the cleft. He got to room-in with us on our second night!! He started feeding like a champ and the pedi was amazed at how well he was doing!
I wrote this a week after K was born. It was all so fresh. I would do it again in a heartbeat. When K was born was the most amazing moment. I hated being pregnant, but loved giving birth. I know, I know CRAZY!
The little man is happy enough for me to continue my tall tale.
As crazy as it sounds, R and I have only been together since April 2008. Not long you say? Yes I know. We both marvel where are lives are on a daily basis. That's where K comes in. K is my son. He is mostly a fuss bucket, and completely handsome.
The beginning of K's tale begins like this...(well the beginning of us knowing about him)
Picture this: Cold day in December, two days after Christmas, when I decide to brave Walmart to get a few necessities. I pass the PG tests (because they are on my list with a ? beside them) and decide "why not?" Well I took it alone in our master bath and pregnant could not come up on the screen fast enough. Tears and wailing began. What would we do? R was a lot more calm when he found out. I was devastated. That was the beginning of our unexpected journey as parents. I look back and re-live those emotions and can't believe how much has changed. K is the most loved little boy in the whole world though and he will always know that.
The whole time I just knew he was a boy. I called him "he" the whole time. It was confirmed for us on April 7, 2009. R's and mine one year anniversary. We had a little boy, but our boy wasn't without compication. At our routine scan we found out he had a cleft lip. I must say I was devastated again and I felt guilty. I was the one growing him and my body failed. But I soon realized it was NOT my fault and it was just the way God decided K should be. Those first emotions after finding about K's cleft lip are still hard to re-live because now I can't imagine him without it. In fact, he already had his first surgery and I was upset to see his little cleft go.
K's first ultrasound picture
Again with the fussy baby, he is teething so life has been extra hard, but be waiting in suspense. The next entry will be about his birth!
The beginning of K's tale begins like this...(well the beginning of us knowing about him)
Picture this: Cold day in December, two days after Christmas, when I decide to brave Walmart to get a few necessities. I pass the PG tests (because they are on my list with a ? beside them) and decide "why not?" Well I took it alone in our master bath and pregnant could not come up on the screen fast enough. Tears and wailing began. What would we do? R was a lot more calm when he found out. I was devastated. That was the beginning of our unexpected journey as parents. I look back and re-live those emotions and can't believe how much has changed. K is the most loved little boy in the whole world though and he will always know that.
The whole time I just knew he was a boy. I called him "he" the whole time. It was confirmed for us on April 7, 2009. R's and mine one year anniversary. We had a little boy, but our boy wasn't without compication. At our routine scan we found out he had a cleft lip. I must say I was devastated again and I felt guilty. I was the one growing him and my body failed. But I soon realized it was NOT my fault and it was just the way God decided K should be. Those first emotions after finding about K's cleft lip are still hard to re-live because now I can't imagine him without it. In fact, he already had his first surgery and I was upset to see his little cleft go.
Again with the fussy baby, he is teething so life has been extra hard, but be waiting in suspense. The next entry will be about his birth!
And so it begins...
My life as a blogger that is. My only question is am I that vain to think people would want to read my meaningless dribble? I hope so. :) This blog will pretty much be about my life as a young stay-at-home mom struggling to balance housework, my son, and my relationship with my fiance. What a worldwind it all is! There will possibly be some cleft lip/palate information, maybe some menu planning, and definitely the reshaping of my whole identity.
Let's start from the very beginning of the craziness shall we? Some introducing is definitely in order
Let's start with the big man in my life: R, my fiance, and I met at work and oh what a day that was!! A verbal fight with the threat of bodily harm? What is a better way to meet the man of your dreams? I only joke. We actually couldn't stand each other for quite awhile, but then the switch went off. So here we are unexpectedly parents... That's a story for another time though. The little man in my life is awake and grouchy!
Let's start from the very beginning of the craziness shall we? Some introducing is definitely in order
Let's start with the big man in my life: R, my fiance, and I met at work and oh what a day that was!! A verbal fight with the threat of bodily harm? What is a better way to meet the man of your dreams? I only joke. We actually couldn't stand each other for quite awhile, but then the switch went off. So here we are unexpectedly parents... That's a story for another time though. The little man in my life is awake and grouchy!
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